Monday, 2 April 2012

Cream Tea Confession

Well. I am ashamed. I am a disappointment. I feel it is time to confess.
I didn’t go through with the cream tea challenge.
The crux of the matter is my body seems to be rejecting mass cream tea consumption. I have this ongoing saga with the doctors. They tested me negative for coealic disease. I celebrated.. for about 5 minutes.. because I know there definitely is something still wrong. I spoke to a coeliac friend who said they also tested negative on the blood tests but the endoscopy came up positive. So I go back to the doctors (I get a different person each time but this one was both sullen and utterly weird) and he says ‘Well keep on with the gluten free diet then if you feel better for it”. I tell him I want to see a specialist; I need some sort of diagnosis or help in understanding why I keep feeling ill. Sorry, can’t refer you until you test positive for coeliac. Grr. So rant aside, I am struggling with cream teas. I crave them, dream about them, lust after them but my body is conspiring against me.
I’ve decided one cream tea a month will be fine, I just can’t overdose on them. (Although the thought of me sprawled out in a tea rooms, frothing jam at the mouth with a needle full of clotted cream is an entertaining image nonetheless). So, basically my sincere apologies for building you all up for the challenge only to reveal that I in fact ate a measly 1 ½ scones leisurely in a sunny garden instead of force feeding my calorie intake for a week in one sitting. It would have been a good experiment and maybe once this whole digestive system palaver is sorted I may be able to schedule it in once again…

Next post… I will be having afternoon tea at … very excited and I expect great things…


  1. Having had similar problems for many years, I sympathise. This brings back memories of pizza hut buffets with friends, only managing a measly three slices of pizza...Oh I wish my sickly body would let me exceed my potential :P

    1. Oh no, have you had a diagnosis?

      I LOVE (well LOVED) pizza hut buffets. My personal best was 13 slices with crusts plus salad. I used the blue cheese sauce to smother the crusts and help them go down.. strategic. I even started a facebook page dedicated to campaigning for pizza hut buffets to include stuffed crust pizzas as I felt the buffeters were being discriminated against just because they wanted to save the pennies (and be greedy). It didn't get many followers unfortunately..

  2. Sarah I was only informed of these hilarious diaries by Miss Hayes at the weekend and feel I have been greatly deprived.

    Having now read every entry in one sitting I feel I must offer you great praise :-) I always knew you would bring joy to readers one day after all those hours on that school bus listening to your theories on various matters.

    I only wish confidentiality issues did not stop me writing the diaries of a Nursery Teacher, I feel I could join you in entertaining many.

    I look forward to your next entry, lots of love x

    1. Naomi! How lovely, thank you :) Yes I must of bored you senseless with my ramblings. Least i've found a channel for my food lust now. Back in the day it was probably just "I'm hungry" as soon as i got on the bus, followed by a rustle about in my bag to produce some sort of extra sour fizzy sweet and a can of coke. Shudder, how do I have any teeth left?
      I think you should start Diaries of a Nursery Teacher, i bet it would be hilarious. You could keep it private for now and see how it evolves.
      Thanks for reading and speak to you soon :) xxx

  3. hi, as much as i enjoy reading this blog about cream teas:

    have you ever thought about writing a blog about witchcraft and wizardry and combining it with a bit about seafood?

    you could call it "Prawn Weasley"